Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Misty Blue

I'm not sure if anyone is still reading..funny how this mirrors so much of my real life. Well anyway I gave up Second Life. It has no meaning in my life anymore. I look back and I feel that there is something wrong with me since I can't maintain intimate relationships with males or females. Am I too needy, too desperate, too intolerable??? Hmm I'm not sure it saddens me that I lost everyone of my good friends I've ever had in my life. I know i suffer from borderline personality disorder that makes it hard and I'm not really doing anything to treat it but admitting you have a problem is always the first step right?

Well i tried to mend 2 of them and I guess the ladies were so distraught or fucking pissed off that I cut ties or in actuality was so depressed I became a recluse ..but i digress ..the relationships were beyond repair. So this leaves me wondering can you go back and fix the past or should you just move on?

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Window Seat

Window Seat... this is the story of my life!!! I love E.Badu. She is sooo prolific ( I guess that's how you spell it). Mama's Gun was one of the greatest cd's it helped me though some tough times. ANYWHOOOOOO

I'm backkkk...maybe....sorta.... a lil bit. lolz. I'm sitting here with lots of ramblings going on in this CRAZYSEXYWEIRD head of mine. I quess I need to update what's been up with me over the last few months.
Status Update:
Age: 27
Sex: omg yes please - celibacy is reallll strength ( July 2008 and counting)
Relationship: what the hell is that? oh oh i mean eternally single
Family: same old same old
Work: made it through the first year in hell currently suffering through year two
Life: restructuring
Spirit: wavering but rebuilding
Heart: broken..and untrusting

Now I knowwww this sounds pessimistic and like a downer but I think that's just my spirit tonight. I'm actually in a kinda okay place. I am going to actually change the direction of this blog. My life is what it is but I see soooo many things I want to comment on and talk I saw a video of two guys fighting in a Chicago welfare office. WTFFFF and do you know who was mostly in the welfare office encouraging the fight ..wait for it...wait for it... African Americans. My people my people. We are in a time of craziness and I for once I feel the need to talk about things that are bigger than me. African American women are like public enemy number 1. The youth are uninspired, undedicated, and lack direction (myself included). Now I won't talk about the state of the world all the time, i will woe is me my own life but I'm going to mix it up a little bit.

I welcome all comments..I'm gonna stick to my guns but I'd love to hear responses and comments. Dialogue inspires change.

I still want my window seat.... but where can I go to get a clear heart and mind in order to inspire and motivate others who are in their window seat.

Monday, April 13, 2009


Whats the deal ....if i have any readers left whats up! I've been mia since December..not because of anything worthwhile like a lover...hahaha nooooo... I've been playing second life. what is second life u ask well its a virtual reality game kinda like the sims but a million times better. U can build an avatar..or a big ass doll as I like to say and make them look, act, dress, do everything u do in your real life and more. Well as you may know my real life leaves lots to be this shit was like gold to me..I went and thought it was the best thing everrrr. I let everything that was once important to me die like a total idiot. I let my job, my friends, and hope of having a love life fade away. I fucked around and fell in love in the game and I am still in the process of getting fucked in the ass from that one. I like fuck im a loser in rl and sl? WTF Second Life is suppose to be ur perfect life..not a damn continuances of the fucked up one you living now. Ehhhhhh wth..ya girl a mess mentally- physically im tired. Tired of not having the love I deserve; Im a good woman so what is the deal???

I started this post in April and here it is June and I feel the same way if not worse I love the game but people are people in and out of game. I now can say I have come out of game much more and I am living much more of my rl butttt not enough.

Well I basically wanted to drop this post to see if anyone is still reading...If you are thank you and I hope to fully be back in my real life my first life my most important life in August.


Friday, December 12, 2008

Ave Maria

You know you guys are really great...I mean that if you didn't know it already. I'm coming back to post much sooner than later. I've just had a lot of crazy stuff going on with work etc. I'll give all the crappy details soon. Oh and for those that have been wondering my love life is still the same..very, very single. I'm still not sure how I feel about that but I'll tell you this weekend.

Love Ya!

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Amazing Grace

YES WE DID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!YES WE DID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Mrs. Officer

Prayer can really change your situation...I'm not saying that I'm not a believer I most definitely am!, but God still manages to take care of me and my problems!! I was just talking about praying for friends in one of my previous blogs and then last week I met some of the most awesome and genuine women I've met in a long time. We emailed last week and decided to meet up for TSU's homecoming- I'm an alumni twice over but I've never, ever had a good time at homecoming so I was like expecting the worst. We went out last night and it was like we've been knowing each other for years! We had a good ass time at homecoming and we have plans to do it again next weekend. I was drunk as hell and it felt good!!! Now I've touched on this before but in high school and college I didn't do any of those wild things and I didn't attend not one party. I didn't even get drunk or go party on my 21st or 25th birthdays. I had way, way too much sex but when I think back that shit wasn't fun or cute at all!!!! I don't have any drunk stories, or any crazy party stories. I was / am way too shy to do any of those things but last night I let loose and had a damn good time!!! I looked fucking awesome...I had a short wig, a black sweater dress with a pop of color from a necklace, black stockings (it's chill...well damn cold at night we've been hitting 32 degrees at night), and black boots! I was hot and so was the other ladies we were all dressed appropriately and didn't look like we were going to 5 different places. I had my first shot of patron?? (I guess that's how it's spelled), and like 6 other drinks! I'm still geeking--didn't mix that light and dark liquor so no throwing up for me...I took that shit like a champ!!!! (Can you tell I'm still geeked lmao). Wasn't worried bout meeting some dude...was just having fun with the girls...believe me when I say jiggas here are lame as hell...I did dance with one dude and put all this BBW on him but he looked like he was younger than me so it was all in fun!!! I'm just geeking because I had a good time this weekend and I'm making new potential friends (I'll tell you about my coworker later..) I'm just living my life having a good time!!!!

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

If I Was A Boy

I saw this picture and I think that reguardless of your political party these bring a smile to your face!!! I'm an 80's baby and it was all about the Cabbage Patch Dolls!!!!

CrazySexyWeird Playlist